From the moment your child is born, it can feel like there’s so much to keep up with. Things like milestones, online advice, and endless “dos and don’ts.” It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and wonder if you’re doing what’s truly best for your little one.
Mind in the Making, a framework developed by child development expert Ellen Galinsky, identifies seven essential life skills that support children’s learning, well-being, and success throughout life. These skills are the building blocks of learning during the early years (ages 0–6), when the brain is growing rapidly and building the foundation for future development.
Here are the seven essential life skills and how they can be nurtured through their early years:
- Focus and Self-Control
Children need this skill to pay attention, follow rules, resist distractions, and think before they act. At home, playing games like “Simon Says”, memory card games as a family or setting routines helps children practice focus and develop impulse control. In the face of your child’s big emotions, teaching simple mindful pauses such as counting to 3 in taking a breath to calm down supports his/her emotional regulation. - Perspective Taking
In the early years, children naturally see the world mainly from their own view, which is a normal part of development. Teaching perspective taking supports empathy and cooperation. Reading books together, pretend play and discussing how characters in books and plushies might feel helps children develop this important social skill. For younger children, naming or imitating emotions based on what they see in a parent’s facial expressions (both naturally and in playful ways) is a good start! - Communication
Communication happens every day! Whether it’s through words, gestures, or even a cry, parents can develop children’s communication skills by modelling, putting their expressions into words, singing, and asking open-ended questions during daily routines. When you respond to your child’s babble, smile, or question, and they respond back, it’s like playing a ping pong that builds their brain and helps them strengthen both listening and communication skills. - Making Connections
This skill is about noticing patterns and relationships—important for problem-solving and creativity. You can support your child through the sorting of toys by colour or shape, comparing objects in routines, especially playtime and cooking (e.g. different fruits and different taste/textures of eggs/vegetables) or even during your grocery run, drawing your family tree and conversations about the weather. For example, night comes when the sun goes down, hearing a thunder indicates rain. Highlighting these observations during these activities or daily experiences also supports your child in making connections. - Critical Thinking
As children grow older, the more curious they become—shifting from asking ‘What is this?’ to ‘Why does it work that way?’ and even ‘What if…?’ Parents can encourage children to solve everyday problems (like how to build a block tower that won’t fall or how to get an object from a height) which helps develop critical thinking. When something breaks or a mess happens, involve your child: “What are some ways we could fix this?” For younger children, unstructured play with blocks, puzzles, or art encourages imagination, experimentation and trial-and-error. - Taking on Challenges
While it is a parent’s protective instinct to guide and shield children from mistakes, the opportunity of learning to manage frustration and keep trying builds confidence and resilience. Parents can help by encouraging effort, praising perseverance, and letting children struggle a little before stepping in to help. If your child is practising riding a bike and wobbles many times, acknowledge: “You kept getting back on even when it was tough—that shows real perseverance.” - Self-Directed, Engaged Learning
In keeping up with children’s endless curiosities which can honestly feel tiring at times, parents’ responses are vital in encouraging this skill:a child’s ability to stay motivated, curious, and engaged in learning. For example, when a child asks, ‘Why is the sky blue?’ a parent can respond, ‘That’s a great question—let’s find out together,’ or if a child takes apart a toy, instead of scolding, say, ‘You really want to see how it works! Shall we try putting it back together?’” Letting them explore topics that interest them with parents’ mindfulness in responding and asking questions goes a long way in nurturing your child’s love of learning.
Written by: Chantel Tan, Social Worker, Fei Yue Community Services
References
Galinsky, E. (2010). Mind in the making: The seven essential life skills every child needs. NY: Harper.
Santrock, J. M. (2024). Life-span development. (19th ed.). NY: McGraw Hill LCC.
