Why Parenting Matters in Early Childhood
Did you know that about 90% of a child’s brain develops by age five? These early years are especially important as children learn how to manage their emotions and respond to the world around them. Some parents expect young children under six, to understand, listen, and follow instructions. Can children that age do so? How are we guiding them to do so?
What are Parenting Styles
Parenting style is not just about what we do. It is also about how our child feels in their relationship with us. Understanding different approaches can help us reflect on what supports young children best.
The Four Common Parenting Styles and Impact on Child Development
Diana Baumrind’s framework for parenting styles remains one of the most influential models in psychological and educational research (Ahmed, R., 2025).
There are four general parenting styles:
1. Authoritative (Warm and Firm) – Let’s aim to achieve this!
This style combines warmth with clear and consistent boundaries. Parents are responsive to their child’s needs but also set appropriate limits.
One example of setting healthy boundaries is being clear about certain house rules while also giving kids enough time to transit from one activity to the next. For instance, if it’s almost time for dinner and your preschooler is watching TV, you might say, “You’ve got 10 more minutes until the cartoon ends. After that, we’re turning off the TV for dinner.”
When the show ends, you follow through—calmly and consistently.
If your child gets upset and starts throwing toys because they don’t want the TV turned off, you might respond with something like, “I can see you’re really upset. It’s okay to feel angry, but we don’t throw toys.” Then you gently switch off the television and guide them to the dinner table.
In moments like these, children learn that their feelings are safe with you, and that boundaries can still be firm. Over time, this helps them manage emotions and transitions with confidence.
Children raised in this environment often develop:
- Better academic performance
- Stronger social competence
- Higher self-esteem
- Better emotional regulation (Baumrind, 1991; Steinberg, 2001).
Being able to respond calmly in these moments also means a parent needs to self-regulate. As a parent myself, I understand that it’s hard to stay calm when your child is throwing a toy, especially if it’s thrown at you. I find it helpful to first notice how I am feeling, take a moment to acknowledge it, and give myself space to calm down before attending to my child.
2. Authoritarian (Strict and Controlling)
This style places strong emphasis on obedience and discipline, with less room for emotional connection. While it may lead to outwardly compliant behaviour, studies suggest it can also be associated with poorer emotional expression and lower self-confidence among children (Baumrind, 1991; Steinberg, 2001).
3. Permissive/Indulgent (Warm but Few Boundaries)
Permissive parents are affectionate and nurturing but may struggle to enforce limits. It is characterised by high levels of warmth but few rules or boundaries. Hence, while children may feel loved, they may also find it difficult to manage frustration or accept “no.” Young children thrive on predictable routines and consistent boundaries. Having clear limits actually helps them feel safe and understand expectations.
4. Uninvolved/Neglectful (Low Warmth and Low Structure)
Uninvolved parenting occurs when parents provide minimal guidance, attention, or emotional support to their children. This may increase the risk of insecure attachment, emotional regulation difficulties, behavioural problems, and delays in social and cognitive development in young children. (Diana Baumrind, 1991).
Practical Tips for Parents of Young Children
- Offer regular physical affection and eye contact when communicating with children.
- Maintain simple, predictable routines as children thrive in stability.
- Set clear, age-appropriate boundaries and enforce them consistently.
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings, even when setting limits.
- Take care of your own well-being — supported parents raise secure children.
Parenting of young children is less about controlling behavior and more about nurturing your child’s emotional world. We often forget that we don’t need to be perfect parents—we just need to be ‘good enough.’ For every parent doubting yourselves today: take a breath. You are doing a great job, and you are already enough.
Written by: Tan Li Wei, Assistant Senior Social Worker, Fei Yue Community Services
To find out more about our free parent support services, register your interest at https://go.fycs.org/PSS, or email us at [email protected] or call 88694006.
References
Ahmed, R. (2025). Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Child Development: A Critical Review of Contemporary Research. Premier Journal of Social Science, 2(100007).
Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence.
Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent–adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence.
