Divorce is one of life’s toughest transitions, and the next few months can be especially challenging as the holiday season approaches. During this time, we celebrate Christmas, New Years, Chinese New Year, and Valentine’s Day. These celebrations can intensify feelings of loneliness, loss, grief, and nostalgia—especially when spent without a spouse or children. The first year of transition is often the hardest, but with careful planning, these difficult emotions can be managed. By creating meaning around the season, you can navigate these festive times with a sense of peace and even joy.

1. Prioritise Self-Care

Knowing that the festive season is fast approaching and may bring up difficult emotions, you can take preventive steps. Healing from divorce begins with self-care. Prioritise activities that ground you, such as exercise, journaling, or spending time in nature. Plan and engage in activities that you enjoy, so you won’t wake up to holidays with nothing to look forward to. Taking care of yourself also sets a positive example for your children, who may be experiencing similar feelings.

It’s okay if you don’t feel joyful every moment. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment, and have a plan if things get overwhelming. Inform close friends and family know if you need their support and give yourself permission to take breaks to regroup. You don’t need to attend gatherings out of obligation if you’re not ready.

2. Start New Traditions

Old family traditions may bring up painful memories, but creating new ones can help redefine the holiday season. For instance, Sally (not her real name) dreaded Chinese New Year because she no longer had reunion dinner with her children. She chose to visit her ageing parents overseas instead, something she hadn’t done in over a decade. She found joy in bonding with her parents and decided to make it an annual tradition.

Be creative and think of new ways to do old things. If you used to bake cookies as a family, keep the tradition alive by baking with friends or trying new recipes. Or introduce activities like a holiday movie night or an outdoor outing. Cindy (not her real name) chose to celebrate Valentine’s Day by volunteering, spreading love in a unique way. New traditions help you build a positive future while still honouring the past.

3. Keep Communication with Your Ex Focused on the Kids

If you have children, coordinating holiday schedules with your ex-partner can ease tensions. Share the festive joy with your ex-spouse; children will appreciate doubling the celebrations. Coordinate in advance on where the children will spend time and agree on boundaries, such as gift guidelines. Clear communication keeps things calm, benefitting everyone involved. Keep discussions respectful and focused on logistics to ensure a smooth holiday for everyone.

Put your children’s needs first by creating a positive holiday atmosphere. Avoid speaking negatively about your ex and reassure your children that it’s okay to enjoy time with both parents. Focusing on their happiness eases the transition to new family structures and festive traditions.

4. Lean on Your Support System

Having a support system during the holidays is invaluable. Friends, family, and community groups can provide comfort and encouragement when you need it most. Consider joining a divorce support group to connect with others facing similar challenges. Organising festive outings like watching fireworks or attending countdown parties builds camaraderie and can forge new friendships.

Holiday traditions don’t have to look the same post-divorce. Whether you’re drawn to a big gathering, a quiet night in, or a solo adventure, celebrate in a way that brings you peace. You don’t need to meet anyone’s expectations but your own. Embrace self-care, create new traditions, and lean on support systems to make the season more manageable. With a focus on well-being and connections, the holidays can become a time of renewal and new beginnings.

If you are going through a divorce and would like emotional support for yourself or your children, reach out to us via [email protected] or call us at 62355229. We provide free counselling and support group programmes for divorcing/divorced families.

Written by: June Leo, Senior Social Worker, Fei Yue Community Services