In part 1 of our article series on divorce counselling, we met 37-year-old Priya (not her real name) and learnt how divorce counselling had helped her to look outwards, and evaluate the consequences of different choices and actions.

Divorce is a life-changing event that is often extremely painful. Even though Priya sought a divorce to end a painful marriage that was filled with hurt, her divorce process was itself no less painful.

Most marriages, even those that end in divorce, are rarely purely negative – they usually include happy and positive experiences. This makes divorce spell the end of these positive aspects of the marriage as well. Priya has to grapple with both the loss of financial support from her husband, and the loss of her dreams for a happy, intact home for her and her children. She and her children may also have developed trauma from their experience of family violence. Having most of her family back in India, Priya also felt very much alone in the lead-up to her divorce.

Many complex emotions can arise within a person going through a divorce; be it guilt for playing a part in “breaking up the family” or anxiety about what the future holds. One may also feel a sense of relief or other positive emotions, and struggle with whether it is “right” to feel this way. Without processing these emotions in a healthy way, individuals may find it challenging to function effectively in their personal and professional lives. Feelings of sadness, helplessness, loneliness may linger and become overwhelming.

This is where divorce counselling helps clients to look inwards, to process the emotional impact of this life-altering event. Through counselling, Priya found emotional support to help her manage her feelings of loneliness during her divorce transition, and better process the sadness, grief, guilt and anxiety that arose from her divorce.

Counselling also helps individuals develop healthier ways of thinking, and steer them away from unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Counselling helps individuals to cope better in their divorce transition, so that they can regain their confidence and move on to a new chapter of their lives post-divorce.

In this 2-part article series, we have explored various benefits of divorce counselling from the perspectives of helping individuals look outwards at their circumstances and look inwards at themselves.

If you need someone to talk to on divorce matters, do connect with us at Healing Hearts@Fei Yue by writing to [email protected]. Our counsellors provide divorce counselling support and other support programmes.

 More information available on our website: https://www.fycs.org/our-work/family/healing-heartsfei-yue/.  Operational hours: Mondays to Fridays, 9.30am–6.00pm (last call-in at 5.00pm).

Written by Jean Teo